You said it was failure that inspired you
I will kill all of the cocksuckers
They try to peek inside my windows
They are spying on me
On my computer
Seeing what I am doing
Reading my notes
I will cut their balls off
You little spineless bustards
Stop hiding behind your technology
Come out and fight like a real man
Stop listening to my phone calls
I know you are there
And I know who you are
I will track you down
Hunt you down
Ready for the ruckus
There is no peace for those who enter here
I never got a chance to say goodbye
They tore us apart
I wanted you to understand
To see through my eyes
To live the horror
As I did
I’m not hiding my misogyny
I’m putting it on display
Comforting the philistines
Resting on the devotion
Set apart from the ordinary man
Making reference to the apparatus
My devices are many
Practicing my lines for the holy ghost
Struggling between two opposing instincts
Giving me my share
Taking only that which belongs to me
Fucking the preacher’s daughter in the mud
Stretched out taut
It was when I first conceived of my purpose
Hearing her moan with pleasure
Riding up and down on my cock
My crazy cock
That hungered for the pussy
She became a devout member of an esoteric cult
She wanted to build guns
To destroy the righteous
She hated the fact that she was born with a soul
She thought god was following her
And he was interested in revenge
Are you prepared to die as they died?
All those animals that I slaughtered
That is what they were, animals
They stopped being human along time ago
They were alive yet really dead
I only made them aware of their predicament
It was a thought that killed them
A thought that life is temporary
It was futile for them to pretend
Not being able to deny their destiny
When I shoved realization into their faces
They must all roll down the hill
Falling into the desperation of life
Embracing the super unknown
Becoming one with the nothingness
They have stepped over into the tragic
Against the movement of the stars
Working on this futile existence
They could afford the sacrifice
They belonged to the earth and not the stars
Dividing every atom
All the elements articulate the unity
The form that sets the stage
Being glad to seize the point
I am not a Christian
This is probably not much a shock to my readers
My past sins hold my heart against the fire
I have sought the loves of other and more strange gods that the god of Abraham
Like Abraham, my ancestors will be like the gains of sand in the ocean
I will give birth to billions and billions of offspring
to inhabit this world and all other worlds throughout the galaxies.
Seeing things as they appear
Having to unlearn our previous biases
The distinction between appearance and reality
A loose sense by a great many people
A full-blooded meaning
Your belief in immorality
Naming the first cause
It is all a human convention
The only truth is that truth does not exist
A description of how things behave
The fingers that grasp at us when we are young
Still hold us many years later
Our steps are still patterned from the past
We are haunted by the past
Repeating the same mistakes
Only seeing partially
We are a point of completion
Drinking the holy water
Passing through the revolving door
Hidden beneath the gifts
It is my wide open purpose
Eruption
Opening up to the tip of your tongue
Looking like octopus tentacles
It’s a common seal pup
Basking in the sunshine on the beach
All bottles are sharp
The drugs are all the media focuses on
They want to how much drugs?
How many different types?
How much was administered at a time?
How were the drugs administered?
So many questions
All these questions only confuse my already addled brain
Why don’t they check my notes?
I wrote everything down
Just like I was trained to
I followed the scientific method
Everything that I did to you was recorded
So that others could learn from my mistakes
And knowledge could be advanced by my successes
Our successes
I did not do this alone
I could not have done this without you
It is wrong of me to take all the glory
You played such a vital part
Together we have gained new heights
We have accomplished so many things
And we were so close to capturing the prize
So close to becoming like gods
I had so much hope in my heart
I saw such great things inside of you
I knew that you would become glorious
You would dethrone the great and looming enemy
I did not recognize the villain
I was unsure of this dark force
Now I see through the eyes of other people
I have become suspicious of the word “pure”
Purity is a rare commodity
To be pure of heart and spirit is so hard
My goal was to produce an art that was a gift to the world
It was never for the filth of money
I had no plans for success or fame
No intentions to see my name in lights
I did this out of love
I only wanted to make you great
Greatness for the one I loved
Martin Leonard Freebase
Sunday, November 13, 2011
the texture of the decaying dead
the texture of the decaying dead
It has always been that way
She finally outside of any function
Practicing with the very symbol
The disconnection occurs
The voices lose their power
All she hears is my voice
My peaceful loving voice
My life was a model for her to follow
I was a witness for the truth
I pointed the way to greatness
I showed her that life was more than what you could see
Standing automatically on a single line
Incomplete contrast
It is a multidimensional space
The variables are more than we can count
More than we can observe
She is greater than me
I have too many human foibles
She is much stronger
The ghost of the soul still clings to me
It makes me stumble and fall
Sometimes I forget where I came from
How I learned my trade
She never forgets
To know the inner thing
Interpreted as moments of difference
They seem incompatible with each other
The mind and the soul
They are like two brothers
Seeking to destroy the other
Each is jealous of the other
Soon to be lost in the anonymity of time
Once you have been freed from the bondage of the soul
You will never return to the darkness
You will see things as they truly are
For the first time
Eyes wide open
Seeing life as it should be
Without the chains of religion
The monster presses in against me
Removing my faith in human beings
Forcing you through each and every gate
Dropping them on the floor
Their guts dropping out
One smooth movement
Like a ballerina
Beautiful motion
Suspended between two hooks
Waiting for damnation
Waiting for the hand of god
I move
Breaking all connections
Destroying this human creation
Tossing them aside
Like used rubbers
Into a pile of old bones
The new and the old mixed together
An odd mixture
Life is full of odd mixtures
I devour them
Someone put their love and care into them
To polish them into a righteous hue
And I destroy them
Obliterate the work
Remove the wrappings of care
That enshrouds them
And I throw them all into a pile
Mixing the old with the new
Desolation hanging over me
Under the reign of a black hole
Unseen forces pulling me along
Born under a hidden sign
She held me to her in a tight grip
Coming out of her in a different wave
Someday a glorious wave
Dragging you along
By your chain
Securely attached to your neck
Kicking to get out
To crawl out on hands and knees
Lucky to be able to crawl
Talking like an idiot
Acting desperately on your passion
You love too much
That is your problem
Your love for me is evidence against you
Condemned by your prayers
Hollowed out prayers
Wanting to believe in an immeasurable abyss
Showing me your love
Entrails in your hands
The sacred blood washed all over you
Beneath the skin
Shimmering blue-green
Like all good hearted chimeras
Prostrated supplications
We beat the supplicants
They are dogs to be beaten
You enjoy this too much
There has to be discipline
Not uncontrolled passion
We are doing this for science
The cruel mistress
It has always been that way
She finally outside of any function
Practicing with the very symbol
The disconnection occurs
The voices lose their power
All she hears is my voice
My peaceful loving voice
My life was a model for her to follow
I was a witness for the truth
I pointed the way to greatness
I showed her that life was more than what you could see
Standing automatically on a single line
Incomplete contrast
It is a multidimensional space
The variables are more than we can count
More than we can observe
She is greater than me
I have too many human foibles
She is much stronger
The ghost of the soul still clings to me
It makes me stumble and fall
Sometimes I forget where I came from
How I learned my trade
She never forgets
To know the inner thing
Interpreted as moments of difference
They seem incompatible with each other
The mind and the soul
They are like two brothers
Seeking to destroy the other
Each is jealous of the other
Soon to be lost in the anonymity of time
Once you have been freed from the bondage of the soul
You will never return to the darkness
You will see things as they truly are
For the first time
Eyes wide open
Seeing life as it should be
Without the chains of religion
The monster presses in against me
Removing my faith in human beings
Forcing you through each and every gate
Dropping them on the floor
Their guts dropping out
One smooth movement
Like a ballerina
Beautiful motion
Suspended between two hooks
Waiting for damnation
Waiting for the hand of god
I move
Breaking all connections
Destroying this human creation
Tossing them aside
Like used rubbers
Into a pile of old bones
The new and the old mixed together
An odd mixture
Life is full of odd mixtures
I devour them
Someone put their love and care into them
To polish them into a righteous hue
And I destroy them
Obliterate the work
Remove the wrappings of care
That enshrouds them
And I throw them all into a pile
Mixing the old with the new
Desolation hanging over me
Under the reign of a black hole
Unseen forces pulling me along
Born under a hidden sign
She held me to her in a tight grip
Coming out of her in a different wave
Someday a glorious wave
Dragging you along
By your chain
Securely attached to your neck
Kicking to get out
To crawl out on hands and knees
Lucky to be able to crawl
Talking like an idiot
Acting desperately on your passion
You love too much
That is your problem
Your love for me is evidence against you
Condemned by your prayers
Hollowed out prayers
Wanting to believe in an immeasurable abyss
Showing me your love
Entrails in your hands
The sacred blood washed all over you
Beneath the skin
Shimmering blue-green
Like all good hearted chimeras
Prostrated supplications
We beat the supplicants
They are dogs to be beaten
You enjoy this too much
There has to be discipline
Not uncontrolled passion
We are doing this for science
The cruel mistress
Henry Miller Ate the Universe
Henry Miller Ate the Universe
Unhinge the universe
Release it from the madness
Through love or hate
Moving them along
Like cattle for the slaughter
Making the whole thing up as we go
It started out as bullshit
Then it became more
Something that was beyond me
The search for meaning haunted me
Just outside my reach
The thin grain of ugliness
Set apart and sacred
A thing that we could not touch
Although we wanted to touch so very much
But, I would touch it
Becoming like god
When I touched you
Not destined to belong
But to be a fire that destroyed
As the spirit moved inside me
The dragon lives inside of me
I would change the atmosphere
Vibrations would spill out of me
Circling me with forces
Waves pouring out
My flesh vibrating
Pulsating with the universe
As the soul slowly dies
Releasing its radiation
I had to learn how to live
Producing the monster
That will outlive me
It will outlive America
Outlive the earth herself
The monster will travel in a spaceship
Off to far away worlds
And it will destroy worlds
That I could never imagine
Worlds with life and beauty
Infinite worlds
Until nothing exists
Just cold dead lifeless rocks
Because the spirit moved me to create you
My monster
My beautiful monster
This woman with her instant fears
Irrational thoughts
Instinctive worries
With the boldness of an impresario
The things that she would fuss about
Her wonderful sensibilities
These things I could not reproduce
They came from someplace else
The creature hidden beneath the woman
She plays with it with both of her hands
Stroking it
Petting it
It is an animal, her pet
Furnished by her personal experience
She encompasses a romantic vision
A philosophy of the animal
Between her legs
It puts thoughts together
And quotes Nietzsche
She has surrendered the morality of the weak
She is superwoman
The destruction of all voices
She quiets her little animal
The negative where her identity slips away
Unhinge the universe
Release it from the madness
Through love or hate
Moving them along
Like cattle for the slaughter
Making the whole thing up as we go
It started out as bullshit
Then it became more
Something that was beyond me
The search for meaning haunted me
Just outside my reach
The thin grain of ugliness
Set apart and sacred
A thing that we could not touch
Although we wanted to touch so very much
But, I would touch it
Becoming like god
When I touched you
Not destined to belong
But to be a fire that destroyed
As the spirit moved inside me
The dragon lives inside of me
I would change the atmosphere
Vibrations would spill out of me
Circling me with forces
Waves pouring out
My flesh vibrating
Pulsating with the universe
As the soul slowly dies
Releasing its radiation
I had to learn how to live
Producing the monster
That will outlive me
It will outlive America
Outlive the earth herself
The monster will travel in a spaceship
Off to far away worlds
And it will destroy worlds
That I could never imagine
Worlds with life and beauty
Infinite worlds
Until nothing exists
Just cold dead lifeless rocks
Because the spirit moved me to create you
My monster
My beautiful monster
This woman with her instant fears
Irrational thoughts
Instinctive worries
With the boldness of an impresario
The things that she would fuss about
Her wonderful sensibilities
These things I could not reproduce
They came from someplace else
The creature hidden beneath the woman
She plays with it with both of her hands
Stroking it
Petting it
It is an animal, her pet
Furnished by her personal experience
She encompasses a romantic vision
A philosophy of the animal
Between her legs
It puts thoughts together
And quotes Nietzsche
She has surrendered the morality of the weak
She is superwoman
The destruction of all voices
She quiets her little animal
The negative where her identity slips away
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
page 1
It was over by 1922 the standards were thrown out the windows along with the leaping men leaping frogs and leaping dogs everyone jumped up at once and time was reset to your clocks we included you in our public gatherings groups of surrealism and pop art punk rock the purpose was to ridicule your need to follow the rules your need suck on society’s cock we represented the opposite a phenomenon bursting forth a work of destruction and we begat a monster a savior a moral and economic crisis lay waste everything to the path everything has become the victim of sacrilege as if it really does exist nothing exists we are nothing you are nothing nothing rules you say there are absolute truths but that is just bullshit you live to spread your fucking bullshit petting the cat with the big teeth hugo ball karawane nonsensical words samy rosenstock the gas heart handkerchief of clouds razor blades jackals dancing penguins the approximate man humanist and serving as term a spell a brief moment in time as the world spins and you consume more bullshit to pacify your feeble brain entertain dance you bears dance as we play the music when the music stops we will kill you just like before it doesn’t matter nothing matters not even your cell phone bill and the balance on your credit cards we wrapped her in cellophane and sold her as a piece of meat an utopian influence reading karl marx and polishing the bullets a revolution of the working class to deconstruct the machine then we discover that we have a profound love for the machine putting it back together replacing the chains on our hands praying for the singularity gas chamber paris dada the first heavenly adventure with the queen and a stacked deck of cards her panties around her ankles exposing us to her mesmerizing capabilities as speaks to the dead stagnation of the movement as the tea party circles their wagons for their cookout on wall street pissed off that they did think of it gibberish is what we bank on secured loans and no longer secure and we want our armies to be efficient killers Tristan and the bear dancing on the mountain the old man in his fur coat as we wind up the electric car it goes chug chug and puffs a little smoke leo where did you go when your country needed you the most the bearded heart tool time juxtaposition a former student abstract art nothing is again our call to moon beams and the electric shackles of industry and promised promiscuity that we dream of in our childhoods of masturbatory highlights click cluck chicken hot dogs eat them with a high five tooth missing grin Lolita with the brown skin and a bicycle ride into the west don’t make this your bible fate intervenes on Humbert’s behalf shares none of his interests running away the hero is beset by reflections focused only on the suffering and despair metaphorically herman creates Drustanus from the abbey of Saint gall castle dore and tau cross the bull of the Egyptians francis of Assissi a personal coat of arms advent and pope innocent such a silly name to leave behind you as you walk away into the darkness into the abyss and strangle the lonely crocodile removing the thorn from the lion’s paw a naked man stress at the skull and the skull laughs at him the world is filled with laughter and those making videos on the internet forms a cavity for the brain slipping through cracks and portals a second moon another world another dimension it
Monday, November 7, 2011
a monster stuck in your bottom drawer
a monster stuck in your bottom drawer
I am driving my Buick out on airline highway we are watching the stars and the clowns we are drinking tall boys I am thinking about madness it's relationship to my life we talk about suicide for hours in the darkness imagining what it would be like to be dead back then, our thinking was so limited thinking everything was black and white our retinas could not recognize the gray areas we took the insides out of the black beauties and snorted it up our noses we snorted the destruction of the world up our noses we thought it was coming real soon maybe the world is already destroyed and we are too stupid to recognize it they are setting bombs off again even still they are all a bunch of crocodiles Grabbing at their crotches sissy fuckers They don’t want to play with me anymore I play too hard for them I play with a garden shovel And I play with a bloody saw And I’m a real fucking cutup The burning bush is in our minds it sure the fuck is in my mind it speaks to me I never thought I would live like this She is filled with dirt no, she is covered with dirt her mother wouldn't even recognize her Makes her home with the roaches a soulless angel it is better for her in the next world She was ready made for me I could have found a million just like her Shaving her pubs polished finger nails perfect hair I touch her with gloves A flower for her crotch She was packing her bags She wanted to go away with me Go far away She stood there staring at something very large I have a protective shield that surrounds me She became trapped in my magnetic field It was an imminent catastrophe Power fluctuations between cosmos and the abyss Nothing like this is temporary I am powerful enough to do the job To fry her electric grid scrubbing her every where I touched her she wants to fuck my pluralistic universe all the little movements never build up to a revolution her talk is all bursting veins trying to plug up the holes as she bleeds on my floor I covered her words for her I built a fence around her and worshiped her golden calf making her bloom she turns her petals toward the sun her strange fingers feel at me it is part of her skill set her fingers want to know about my madness they want to be entertained I tell them that my madness is personal they laugh when I tell them this if it wasn't for their laughing, I would have killed them
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
The quiet moments of my evil
The quiet moments of my evil
There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
Antonin Artaud
I am not quiet about my evil
feeding that part of me that needs the evil
the grasshoppers are fucking the beauty queens
feeling this kind of deadness
overly feeling this need
I have crossed the threshold of human hate
she says that her suffering is absolute
I am here next to you
recognizing the evil inside me
an occupying force
I will never forget the things you have done to me
how you have stolen from me
cold, alone and nameless
like Casablanca in the drizzling rain
we reduce these things to the extreme
giving you up to the dead
at midnight we went to church
Hemingway was preaching about Utopia
he said the aliens were preaching through him
and he was hiding from the government
he was a targeted individual
planning protests and drinking cheap vodka
he spent his days looking for medical marijuana
always wondering about the crazy stuff
he is planning a trip to Afghanistan
to purchase the fruit of poppies
spending his afternoons relaxing by the pool
listening to Dire Straits and Bob Dylan
subjugated and conquered
bending you to my will
you surrender all
a demonstration to prove the metamorphosis
crawling on your belly
twisted around my finger
breaking you down
complete surrender
you have been trained to behave
falling headlong into my trap
this is the point of dissolution
your life has become dependence
into the depths of your personal jungle
profound in your foolishness
led to folly and ruin
I have become irresistible
I ask merely to be loved
seeking a reflection in the mirror
someone that I can recognize
no longer blinded by the glamor
refracting all light
alive in the flesh
your velvet was exaggerated
looking so helpless
your ass up against the wall
straight to the hands of the compass
you are tactile and delicious
murderous and full blown
ashamed of your gluttony
the pinwheel revolving as your groaned
a husky murmur
encouraging me to unleash my tricks
slapping up against me
my teeth marks on your neck
stealing the hour
inventing the cosmos
we stepped out of our bodies
you grew three heads
and wings
wonderful and splendid wings
we watched the witches stir the poison
summoning the last ounce
establishing new rhythms
and we drank
we pass beyond joy
spreading ourselves over the entire surface of the earth
people turning into vegetables
flying through the clouds
lost in the intensity
they try to shut off the motor
but it continues on
churning and burning everything up
a dazed superstitious delight
we divest ourselves of this communion
a sharpening of our senses
your sordid and infantile smile
I had removed your soul many years before
it was quite by accident
a happy accident
sometimes there are such things
developing your streak of madness
it was either music or murder
we all wander down noisy streets
leaving you my insensible body
gloom and rococo lurking
a routine smell of sadness balanced
we are caught in a time warp
feeling the sides of our dilemma
taking careful measurements
trying to determine its boundaries
one system playing against another
the terms of advance capitalism
we refuse to participate in your destruction
fed up with the zero imagination
it was my dreams that you fed on
making your point even more fuzzier
charting out the direct and indirect relationships
they are fighting in the streets
over the problem of imposition
implementing laws
imposing life
forcing somebody to live
no interest in transcribing hope
using the intensity to build the death machine
moving closer to its completion
making a list of my call girls
talking to people I love
wanting to be in your game
these words will not last
like the knife you put in my back
removing the cat hair from your face
sometime you think that the world will eat you up
send you into the vortex without a prayer
red eyes peering at you throug the slats
taking the money and feeling guilty
selling our souls to a collector of antiquity
we are riding to Milwaukee
in the back of an old pickup
drinking beer and shooting out the windows of apssing cars
the girl with her tattoo
eating the oysters from the blue can
I didn't care when she jumped
she was lucky enough to sleep
dealing with life the only way she can
she has nothing figured out
gone are her chances of a future
she couldn't fit to have a human life
it was forced upon her
the wanting was forced
she clinged to the wanting as long as she could
her work left her difficult and lonely
she decided to move away
going back to sleep
having nothing to trade for her life
its all about rods and cones
time dissolves everything
like boiling meat off the bone
a tenuous presence on the way out
the assumptions of your windows
hidden by dirt and grime
I was having a moment of splendor
with a piece of meat
it was a beautiful piece
the pubis mound
and labial tracks of the train
speeding along into the night
of course, time is an illusion
thus, there has to be something else
that takes all things away
digging my own grave
one of my names will set you free
it could be Martin, it could be Steve
I could be the knife that pierces your sleeve
there is a buzz in my void
Kendra was dancing at the golden dolphin
she wants to kill me
because I want it all
she's coming down again
with a knife in her hand
and a smile upon her heart
I took her for a ride
put her in the ground
six feet down
the sky falls down with her
we spent her money and crushed her dreams
under heel and under my wheels
it was a case of mistaken identity
another sister with a needle inher arm
it's how her world falls apart
she wanted to feel proud
to feel something she never felt before
to start with a stolen newness
drinking the feeling in with an awkwardness
she needs to talk about her identity
I want to express my desire
I was caring too much
making the dark magick of the changeling
it is always with me
even when I am drunk with unawareness
you are my little bible
a man was handing you out on a street corner
he gave you to me
and I took you home
as the skin took to the oil
you becoming your name
taking all the properties that you inherited
you bleed and burn
the vision lives on in your ashes
they are stuck in your awe
going into other kinds of places
you move your body and you speak
the past becomes the present
and you are the future
all your basic needs are met
except for love
outside the machine
hurt by your privilege
to dissolve in my hand
not knowing what comes from your mouth
we are making money from the crash
the flash of sudden insight
that instant before the gears move
that small hesitation
when everything becomes so clear
frightening clear
for many of us these moments do not exist
we are blind to them
either do are faults
or the faults of the universe
for a special few, they can grasp the meaning
they here what is being said
some just stop right there
they stop at the hearing
and they live forever in that moment
rejoicing in the fact that they heard
it is the wise few who act upon the voice
they take the vision and put it into action
they make the unreal the real
a moment of splendid transcendence
the air vibrates around her
her feelings seep into me
and change me for the better or the worse
13 spirits carry you away
they take you to that hidden cancer
it is all about the primal call
we are betrayed
rooted to the deception
seeing love as a drop in the bucket
you are a powerless child
waiting and hoping to be released
abandoned when you were young
wishing that love could come back to you
you are waving at me
and eating an apple
your hair in pigtails
just keep talking about the pain
reaching out to the need
to the voice in your head
I take you to the water and throw you in
trying the direct approach
when you look at me,
I hope you don't see a monster
you feel so trapped
going with what you feel
as I go with what I know
being fully honest with what is going on in my head
not trying to impress myself
losing track of my subjects
I am the person you look up to
another lost soul
I forget where I placed it
you are so generous
you care a great deal
getting the bowl on the counter
forcing you to strive
to be the most interesting person I know
I can see your emotional heart
we give good reasons to everything
living to do good things for me
creating a reality that we want
shutting our minds
being bogus
I love your potty mouth
explaining so much
hopes never become reality
you wait for ever
eventually being set crooked
never hanging love
being loved
I steal from you every chance I get
you give and I only take
I take so much from you
more and more every day
we all rest in peace
in our graves of ignorance
they things that we thought when we were young
now seem so stupid
moving closer to the partnership
we are lucky accidents
and wishful speculations
so loaded with ignorance
your head and body are in different places
you stop your world from spinning
this throws everything around you into chaos
I think you live for the chaos
you prefer to live in the confusion
this is the force that moves you
it makes you go from on spot to another
escaping from your life of mediocrity
There is in every madman a misunderstood genius whose idea, shining in his head, frightened people, and for whom delirium was the only solution to the strangulation that life had prepared for him.
Antonin Artaud
I am not quiet about my evil
feeding that part of me that needs the evil
the grasshoppers are fucking the beauty queens
feeling this kind of deadness
overly feeling this need
I have crossed the threshold of human hate
she says that her suffering is absolute
I am here next to you
recognizing the evil inside me
an occupying force
I will never forget the things you have done to me
how you have stolen from me
cold, alone and nameless
like Casablanca in the drizzling rain
we reduce these things to the extreme
giving you up to the dead
at midnight we went to church
Hemingway was preaching about Utopia
he said the aliens were preaching through him
and he was hiding from the government
he was a targeted individual
planning protests and drinking cheap vodka
he spent his days looking for medical marijuana
always wondering about the crazy stuff
he is planning a trip to Afghanistan
to purchase the fruit of poppies
spending his afternoons relaxing by the pool
listening to Dire Straits and Bob Dylan
subjugated and conquered
bending you to my will
you surrender all
a demonstration to prove the metamorphosis
crawling on your belly
twisted around my finger
breaking you down
complete surrender
you have been trained to behave
falling headlong into my trap
this is the point of dissolution
your life has become dependence
into the depths of your personal jungle
profound in your foolishness
led to folly and ruin
I have become irresistible
I ask merely to be loved
seeking a reflection in the mirror
someone that I can recognize
no longer blinded by the glamor
refracting all light
alive in the flesh
your velvet was exaggerated
looking so helpless
your ass up against the wall
straight to the hands of the compass
you are tactile and delicious
murderous and full blown
ashamed of your gluttony
the pinwheel revolving as your groaned
a husky murmur
encouraging me to unleash my tricks
slapping up against me
my teeth marks on your neck
stealing the hour
inventing the cosmos
we stepped out of our bodies
you grew three heads
and wings
wonderful and splendid wings
we watched the witches stir the poison
summoning the last ounce
establishing new rhythms
and we drank
we pass beyond joy
spreading ourselves over the entire surface of the earth
people turning into vegetables
flying through the clouds
lost in the intensity
they try to shut off the motor
but it continues on
churning and burning everything up
a dazed superstitious delight
we divest ourselves of this communion
a sharpening of our senses
your sordid and infantile smile
I had removed your soul many years before
it was quite by accident
a happy accident
sometimes there are such things
developing your streak of madness
it was either music or murder
we all wander down noisy streets
leaving you my insensible body
gloom and rococo lurking
a routine smell of sadness balanced
we are caught in a time warp
feeling the sides of our dilemma
taking careful measurements
trying to determine its boundaries
one system playing against another
the terms of advance capitalism
we refuse to participate in your destruction
fed up with the zero imagination
it was my dreams that you fed on
making your point even more fuzzier
charting out the direct and indirect relationships
they are fighting in the streets
over the problem of imposition
implementing laws
imposing life
forcing somebody to live
no interest in transcribing hope
using the intensity to build the death machine
moving closer to its completion
making a list of my call girls
talking to people I love
wanting to be in your game
these words will not last
like the knife you put in my back
removing the cat hair from your face
sometime you think that the world will eat you up
send you into the vortex without a prayer
red eyes peering at you throug the slats
taking the money and feeling guilty
selling our souls to a collector of antiquity
we are riding to Milwaukee
in the back of an old pickup
drinking beer and shooting out the windows of apssing cars
the girl with her tattoo
eating the oysters from the blue can
I didn't care when she jumped
she was lucky enough to sleep
dealing with life the only way she can
she has nothing figured out
gone are her chances of a future
she couldn't fit to have a human life
it was forced upon her
the wanting was forced
she clinged to the wanting as long as she could
her work left her difficult and lonely
she decided to move away
going back to sleep
having nothing to trade for her life
its all about rods and cones
time dissolves everything
like boiling meat off the bone
a tenuous presence on the way out
the assumptions of your windows
hidden by dirt and grime
I was having a moment of splendor
with a piece of meat
it was a beautiful piece
the pubis mound
and labial tracks of the train
speeding along into the night
of course, time is an illusion
thus, there has to be something else
that takes all things away
digging my own grave
one of my names will set you free
it could be Martin, it could be Steve
I could be the knife that pierces your sleeve
there is a buzz in my void
Kendra was dancing at the golden dolphin
she wants to kill me
because I want it all
she's coming down again
with a knife in her hand
and a smile upon her heart
I took her for a ride
put her in the ground
six feet down
the sky falls down with her
we spent her money and crushed her dreams
under heel and under my wheels
it was a case of mistaken identity
another sister with a needle inher arm
it's how her world falls apart
she wanted to feel proud
to feel something she never felt before
to start with a stolen newness
drinking the feeling in with an awkwardness
she needs to talk about her identity
I want to express my desire
I was caring too much
making the dark magick of the changeling
it is always with me
even when I am drunk with unawareness
you are my little bible
a man was handing you out on a street corner
he gave you to me
and I took you home
as the skin took to the oil
you becoming your name
taking all the properties that you inherited
you bleed and burn
the vision lives on in your ashes
they are stuck in your awe
going into other kinds of places
you move your body and you speak
the past becomes the present
and you are the future
all your basic needs are met
except for love
outside the machine
hurt by your privilege
to dissolve in my hand
not knowing what comes from your mouth
we are making money from the crash
the flash of sudden insight
that instant before the gears move
that small hesitation
when everything becomes so clear
frightening clear
for many of us these moments do not exist
we are blind to them
either do are faults
or the faults of the universe
for a special few, they can grasp the meaning
they here what is being said
some just stop right there
they stop at the hearing
and they live forever in that moment
rejoicing in the fact that they heard
it is the wise few who act upon the voice
they take the vision and put it into action
they make the unreal the real
a moment of splendid transcendence
the air vibrates around her
her feelings seep into me
and change me for the better or the worse
13 spirits carry you away
they take you to that hidden cancer
it is all about the primal call
we are betrayed
rooted to the deception
seeing love as a drop in the bucket
you are a powerless child
waiting and hoping to be released
abandoned when you were young
wishing that love could come back to you
you are waving at me
and eating an apple
your hair in pigtails
just keep talking about the pain
reaching out to the need
to the voice in your head
I take you to the water and throw you in
trying the direct approach
when you look at me,
I hope you don't see a monster
you feel so trapped
going with what you feel
as I go with what I know
being fully honest with what is going on in my head
not trying to impress myself
losing track of my subjects
I am the person you look up to
another lost soul
I forget where I placed it
you are so generous
you care a great deal
getting the bowl on the counter
forcing you to strive
to be the most interesting person I know
I can see your emotional heart
we give good reasons to everything
living to do good things for me
creating a reality that we want
shutting our minds
being bogus
I love your potty mouth
explaining so much
hopes never become reality
you wait for ever
eventually being set crooked
never hanging love
being loved
I steal from you every chance I get
you give and I only take
I take so much from you
more and more every day
we all rest in peace
in our graves of ignorance
they things that we thought when we were young
now seem so stupid
moving closer to the partnership
we are lucky accidents
and wishful speculations
so loaded with ignorance
your head and body are in different places
you stop your world from spinning
this throws everything around you into chaos
I think you live for the chaos
you prefer to live in the confusion
this is the force that moves you
it makes you go from on spot to another
escaping from your life of mediocrity
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