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accompanies Mr. Perry to church and does her knitting while they all sit in the bar and listen to the barmaid testify of the goodness of their lord and savior tim humbert and larry show up every now and then when they are not on the road selling bibles the barmaid is trying to keep her hand on the plow she plowing a field for tim trying to harvest him some souls she is trying to come to grips with the larger philosophical and metaphysical issues that have been troubling her all her life she says that tim is the truth and she calls her church the church if truth she has thrown away her books from her earlier days in the green witch village when she practiced her magic for AC it is a story of betrayal separation and redemption America was put on the cross and it was up to people like the barmaid to take America down and prepare her for burial humbert became disillusioned with the bible selling business and he felt that there needed to be a book that told kinbote’s story so he began writing the story of tim according to humbert or more normally called the book of tim humbert started with the story of the barmaid and then began following tim around to record everything he said and everything he did it was humbert who first decided to call himself a disciple of tim and soon larry, the barmaid, Mr. Perry, jane, and toby began to meet together with tim and discuss what he was doing and saying humbert would show them what he had written and they helped him make sure he was getting it straight when I asked humbert if I could read some of the stuff he had written he told me no that it was only for true believers and he could tell that I was not a true believer he said that I didn’t believe in anything it was all a dry hump for the sweet sadist I was still determined to wash all of her holes I slowly stroked my immorality all these circuits lie with the bravado behind their teeth my story takes a turn neither bad nor inglorious it is just a turn the same as when you turn the wagon around and head back for home with your tail between your legs such is the path of a true disciple I have observed they still weep into their tissues and I collect the bile with a wooden bucket to feed the weary horses it may not be gods work but is charity just the same why should there be a problem with the connection the corndog must have gotten stuck in her throat the barmaid is silent for once maybe her brain is trying to recover from the demon possession truck the demon possesses her every other half hour for ten or fifteen minutes during these times is when she says the most intelligent things you have ever heard her speak she doesn’t talk stupid shit about how great and beautiful tim is when truck possesses her the barmaid talks about the joys of having an orgasm I told tell she was possessed by truck the demon because I was once possessed by truck myself and when I was possessed by truck my left would twitch all the time and the barmaid’s left eye would twitch like a motherfucker and when she would discuss to her congregation the holy benefits of a vibrating dildo she would demonstrate its proper use for her parishioners ramming the dildo in her crotch she would inform them that it would help them get closer to kinbote and that this was a superior form of praise and worship I thought it was hilarious that a disciple of tim would be possessed by such a nasty little demon as truck I knew how to expel the dirty little fuck from the barmaid but I was having too much fun watching him

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his hands are always dirty but his toes are clean the grave digger is drink a whiskey sour because that is what real men drink he tells everyone in the bar that is what real men drink kinbote tells the gravedigger that real men love tim just like Mr. Perry this makes the whistle boy laugh and he spits his mouthful of beer on the floor the barmaid walks by slipping on the beer on the floor and falls breaking her head wide open toby’s pig sees gray material laying on the floor and eats the barmaid’s brains this disgust tim and he starts shout down lightning bolts from heaven thus causing it to rain and blow a wild evil storm around the town in the alley behind the bar is lola in the white socks and humbert she is giving humbert a blow job the lightning and rain scare them into the bar they sit down and order root beers lola in the white socks is still trying to make up words she believes she create new realities that don’t exist with her word creations her newest creation is thickfulness she says that toby’s pig is in the state of thickfulness  she says that she is thickful for the pigs thickfulness tim pushes the pig out of the way and scoops up what is left of the barmaid’s brains and puts them back into her head he says a few magical words under his breath and bring s the barmaid back to life everyone in the bar is amazed except for toby he is looking around for the hidden strings everyone in the bar except toby falls down on their hands and knees and worships kinbote tim says great more fucking believers humbert is crying like a baby and asking tim to forgive him his sins tim agrees reluctantly and forgives both humbert and lola in the white socks lola tells tim that she is thickful for his forgiveness tim tells them both to go and sin no more they finish their root beers and leave the bar praising the glory of kinbote humbert and lola in the white sock become traveling bible salemen lola saves up her money from selling bibles to retards in the Midwest and gets herself a sex change operation and becomes a man she knows calls herself larry in the white socks now he is a love monger a close relative to billy the kid he speaks to everyone as if he is living in a burlap bag he is destroying the mundane making the crooked sacred there is no use in arguing over the meatheads larry says it is praise that gives one power over the acne a farcical mortal fin it is growing out of the middle of larry’s back humbert thinks that maybe larry is becoming a shark he certainly sells more bibles than humbert and being able to sell door to door is the first indication in the DSM4R for being a bona fide shark larry’s skin is turning a dull gray with each bible he sells he even sold one to a former lover to the old cowboy now that was a trick and a half the old cowboy used to be this big movie star he made at least a thousand cowboy movies then he became born again and married a beauty pageant queen they both raised little rug rats in the state of texas then the old cowboy became interested in politics and was elected governor now he spends his time bitching about gays in the military the barmaid started a church of kinbote at the bar and she testified nightly on how the lord tim saved her worthless mangy life and now she only lives for tim like a bazooka with his name on it she wants to help tim expose the whole world to his disease a local tv station videotapes the barmaids sermons every Sunday Mr. Perry hears about this and starts attending the barmaid’s church he hopes that this might help him get closer to kinbote Jane

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the next Jane is pretending that she has no goals and Toby likes his emotions raw and with syrup Toby is a king with a whistle in his pocket blow your whistle Toby there is a blind allegiance that steals from your soul anointed by the fires of hell and infiltrating the fbi spying on the spies dropping lines to the papers these gypsies are stationary and the burn the wires of copper wires telepathic angels above our heads they have machineguns and bullet proof vests investing in corporate America it is the American dream a big screen television and a monster truck driving the kids to the Saturday afternoon soccer games no more handmade looks only stones that sparkle to the republic Toby said he saw Willie fight a bear in Montana he was part of a traveling circus act I asked Toby is willie was fighting tritan also Tristan and the bear always travel together Toby said that humbert was there with lola in the white socks he was fondling her pigtails and the mothers were getting all upset the mothers are always telling what to do and distinguishing right from wrong when I berried betty boop in Calcutta the mothers were there whispering in my ear they were trying to make me feel guilty the mothers are financially supported by Mr. Nervous he wants to share his guilt with others he wants to put it up on billboards for others to read he believes that the world is going to end he is betting on it Mr. Perry has been watching humbert and taking notes on how to seduce people Mr. perry wants to seduce tim he wants tim to be his boy toy but tim is a good Christian in fact tim is the first Christian he is the one that everyone else follows henry claims that he knows tim very well but tim says he doesn’t know him Toby is jumping up and down on the garbage clowns he is upset about their hourly rate Toby prefers to have his clowns on a retainer Toby is not interested in joining tim’s religious movement he has heard about the injustice of kinbote and wants no part of it jane is pegging Mr. Perry to get him ready for his anal rape from tim that is what a religious experience means tim sticking his god shaft up some poor believer’s a-hole that is more religion than I bargained for I’m not interested in singing happy songs ones with a criminal check in it the king with a whistle in his pocket is drinking beers with kinbote at a main street bar they are watching the mothers harass maria on television the mothers want to know her involvement with the international paranoia trade toby throws his pet pig a scrap of Canadian bacon pizza toby keeps his pig on a leash  he believes that all pigs should be on a leash he is trying to convince tim to put this in this Sunday’s sermon when kinbote and the whistle boy get together they mostly talk about politics kinbote tries to talk about religion every now and then but toby stops tim short they mostly talk about how to get kinbote’s boyfriend elected president he mentions that jane has been teaching kinbote’s boyfriend how to fight toby says that will come in handy once the caucuses start no one will be pulling their punches by then and knibote’s boyfriend better know how to throw a punch by then the farmers will be ready for a good fight and he had better deliver tim’s last boyfriend was knocked out in the first round toby blows his whistle and the pig does a flip in the air everyone in the bar claps their hands and cheers when the pig isn’t sleeping he is chewing on a grave digger’s leg the grave digger just got over a fight with his woman she threw him out because he had no shoes

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corporate monster only wants to force growth down your throats until you choke on it you want more bitch tell me you want more beg me for it like a good little corporate dog Mr. Crowley wants to become a member of the masses he wants shoes that shines up little girls skirts he wants to be catholic again and to sneak a peek at Jane’s pussy he wants to sleep with the bed bugs and to crawl around on the floor looking up at his master Mr. Crowley wants to give everything away so that he can become so much more mad sad madness he is down with living in glass houses so that his neighbors can see his magical rites he performs his magic in secret now just like all the other madmen it is only his fruits that we see in public he is gluing everything together all the broken pieces he is putting them in a love letter to you he has promised to write you so many times that you forgot that he ever would you thought he was just a figment of your imagination you didn’t really think he existed but he does you can put him in your vodka bottle he won’t fit in there anymore all I do is steal and Mr. Crowley watches me steal from you I steal from tim every chance I get every time he gets up to go to the bathroom we all take out our baggies and steal a couple of buds we each take a handful we are partners in crime I stole Mr. Perry’s wedding ring and traded it for a gun I might have to shoot somebody to save the world someday you never know how these things work out the witchdoctor keeps telling me about the future but I don’t want to believe I have to relearn everything I once knew the past lives are supposed to add up we are supposed to start working on the puzzle where we left off but I have learned that life is not the way they say it is in the books shit you should not believe a single word I have written here it is probably all bullshit how do you even know that I wrote this crap what makes you think I am really me I could be a plant from the government that they put here to spy on you how can you be such an ignorant little fucker you let me inside your head and I shit all over it Kinbote is practicing his lines he has a big part in the upcoming Christmas play I think he has five whole lines he used to having people speak for him the twelve signs when you are a master measuring the stars kinbote is born in our heads every morning he is the lamb speaking and thinking a hammer in one hand and a sword in another printing the mind into matter it was an organized massacre we shot them for more than five hours four hours wouldn’t have been enough five seemed to be just right 111 dead it was a grueling job some of the women tried to break free and run for it but it was in vain they were shot down in their tracks the eye pushed back and down caught in the revolving door Gie said he wanted to go back to prison he said it felt like home there they all get treated the same it doesn’t matter what your diagnosis everyone is given the same poison he is comforted by common suffering the falcon’s meat hook salute to the cripple general of el dorado street he is marching his armies up and down the street Jane has no back to follow she has removed her fig leaf and is practicing witchcraft behind Mr. Perry’s back she knows that kinbote is a battered god the landlord wants a passionate kiss before he sells him into slavery the corporate giants are all agog wetting their pants with anticipation they long for the good old days of bullet proof spokes models everything is for sale in this world and everything is on loan in

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took a five gallon can of gasoline and burned down his shack they were going to put it in the Smithsonian and we just couldn’t stand for that a mysterious journey I knocked on his door at the 4^th street slums Captain Marc spent long hours with AC discussing how to get rid of Mr. Perry AC was convinced that Mr. Perry was up to no good  I wrote a letter to Gie in prison explaining to him all of this the Mayan codices we see the lizard man on the nightly news he is telling us to look for the spacemen jabbing the needle into his arm Gie wrties back a month later and says he has found the spaceman it is the rise of rational thought and the creation of the iron cage Jane is going around counting all the workers in the field we are pulling up parsnips and carrots Jane keeps telling us to circle the wagons most people pay her no attention crazy is as crazy does and Jane has a full dose of crazy Mr. Perry asks Jane to marry him even though he has been married for 25 years he can’t help but fall in love with the crazy Jane helps patch up Mr. Perry’s wounds from his battle with Captain Marc and bertha she sings to him as she winds the cloth around his wounds she tells him that you don’t have to spend too much time in the pews to understand that Mr. Perry can’t fight worth a fuck she tells him that he is going to have to learn how to fight if he wants to be president Jane begins to teach him his first fighting lesson she teaches him how to kick somebody in the nuts how to poke someone’s eye out and how to knee someone in the face she tells him these are the first vital lessons that Abraham Lincoln learned when he first went into politics Mr. Perry looks like a bloody mess Jane has whipped his ass real good this was the beginning of Mr. Perry’s and Jane’s love affair tim asks Mr. Perry if he loves him and Mr. Perry says yes then tim tells Mr. Perry to kill AC Mr. Perry says he will try Mr. Perry wants to stick his dick in tim so he will do anything tim says Mr. Crowley is working on a new bible one that is all about AC and a new millennium he writes stories about the end of time when all the bank will go bankrupt and the people will take to the streets killing all the politicians and all of the priests Mr. Crowley believes in the power of words he thinks that his words will bring about a new world order a world without tim a world where AC rules everything Mr Crowley talks about the itch of the world the scars of chew toys and Hollywood entertainment he says that the world is a tiger escaped from its cage he would run but his legs have been sawed off in the last banking war he is a veteran of many psychic wars and is lucky to be here today to tell us about it he has had his fill of nothing and it is just that he is telling us about how the nothing can capture your soul and send you across the country in search of the perfect hole a hole you can climb inot and forget the world he wants to beg for the blind eye and to crawl in the squalor of the real truth he has used his extra consciousness many times and is not afraid to set the record straight if he has to his benefits are in a small plastic bag made from biodegradable plastic it like him will fade away into the sunset the truck is coming to collect his bones and bury him with rin tin tin they are both Hollywood stars and have a star on the walk of fame he has been dodging the bullets of the government for so long that he knows how to bend over backwards he knows the problem and the problem is capitalism the monster of corporate greed doesn’t care about your biographies the