Wednesday, January 25, 2012

page 102

left the castle with his Lordship and the crazy lady the local historian has speculated that dagger was a human sacrifice some say dagger had an enemy in the likes of the turk that dagger was fooling around with miss palm this reads a bit too much like clue if you ask me I should pursue other venues of thought what takes place inside the cave remains ambiguous his lordship has dabbled with miss palm also miss palm with the lightshade in the bathroom his lordship s going venomous that hard to swallow account a dagger being taken away in a spaceship miss palm claims that the body hanging in the tree was a double a lifeless double provided by the aliens so that no one would go looking for dagger outside the rational outside all attempts to contain all potential threats Hugo insists that change is evil changes does not lead to progress but to disaster and anarchy buried in an unknown place reducing the impossible to the possible internal defenses that let us choose how much of ourselves we give away we give ourselves away everyday some more than others you surrender to the reading you throw away disbelief and you dive in with your head and heart getting yourself dirty in the life getting honked at by people on Saabs and Mercedes mashed together and then emptied of some vital essence exaggerating your poor posture in a kind of desiccated lunar way a weird kind of subliminal seismic disturbance spikes that penetrate all the way to the back of the skull you are creepily curved and deformed a rent a cop a rent a woman to do this like a dystopic vision it’s all about deformity a dick head that lets you explore your feelings fragile they are all fragile breakable expendable they want to be watched they need the voyeur the person peeking through the window they put on a show they map out their steps and write down their lines they practice their parts over and over to get it just right melting into the cosmos every question does not have an answer imagine the chaos your murderer has not disappeared betty boop catapulting a version of self I lack the world and move in it as a ghost all these steps to cross the threshold of life to dissolve into nothingness the completion of time the certainty of the descent the fall into the abyss on the doorstep of the unknown this figure turns superhuman escaping the boundaries of self and non-self the way I see the world and the universe have changed I have replaced my old worn out set of rules and values for a new set of rules and value I have replaced restrictions with allowances with freedoms I can do all things all things are possible there remains the question of what waits for me on the other side what waits for us on the other side of the sea of red stepping into the waters we become red ourselves hugo is speaking Chinese and tonya is laughing she wants to know what happened to dagger I told tonya that dagger went to discover the possibilities of freedom that he no longer wanted to swim in the sea of red that he moved to Oklahoma to preach the gospel to poor dirt farmers tonya circumvents the notion of escaping into the nothing she asks me what is on the other side she wants me to take her there someday once we destroy the boundaries of this world then what world will we find ourselves in will we just create another hell to replace the current hell we live in no longer frightened by the looking the millions of eyes that poured out of her I think they represented soul that she had

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