Tuesday, January 24, 2012

page 97

methods to cut you into I am using a butcher's map to identify the cuts betty boop is asking me to be nice she is drinking tea the metal rod is in her hand she is swinging it around people are around all of the time telling stories making weird noises thin foam it is funky a great face she wants to know where the remote is smelling like a big fat cheeseburger a wolf howls and she joins in its all about the law and order a big fat moon she was crying again I was rolling out the door finding my place in the leaving the night was still young and I had dreams to fry she hates to the stone tablets joined at the hip I am following her lips as she sips her captain and coke a room full of jackals I can find myself here in this dream that you have created I don't have any shoelaces all those pictures that I had taped to my cardboard heart I was too outrageous for her taste some long lost suburban element betty boop was in the bed she had just taken a shower and had nothing on she is sharing with me what she is feeling putting it in public throwing out into the void creating something from nothing she asked me if I wanted her to put on her panties or some silk stockings she wanted to know what turned me on I told her that anything would be fine that she could do anything she wanted I told her that she always turned me on no matter what she had she could be wearing a gunny sack and I would be turned on it was her that turned me on everything about her and not the extras the people you hire to stand in the background her pubic hair was still wet from the shower the birds are eating the birdseed from the bowl you have placed on the window's ledge we are watching the trucks from your window there is a world outside and you are standing naked in your window I am standing behind you looking over your shoulder there is squash on the table you have to cut it and cook it you keep saying demure and mispronouncing it when we fuck our way through the day we fuck our way into transformation we fuck our way through love and high waters when we fuck each other's brains out betty boop is making up my mind for me she is folding me and putting me  away I am warm just out of the dryer still so hot another phrase from the bible the holy ritual poking you fucking you this is the cup that I pour myself out of of the silences are a storm inside of me we fuck the corporeal we fuck the spirit juggling this physical performance common juggling corporeal Latin learning to transform transfigure mutate inhabit reveal expose undress redress corruption of the ritual the vacuum is filled the fuck is fulfilled she has her leg up and her left leg spread out to the side her vagina warm and wet I open the lips slowly the spirit of god fills the body I am undecided is she a human or a goddess she quotes me to the angels she tells them all about me how I have died for her sins she tells the angels to have pity on me when they come for me so gently with my fingers one hand fondles her left breast this is not a letter of attribution no it never could be we share a lie together bety boop and myself this lie sort of gave us a purpose a right to attempt to live a happy life if we have a right to be happy I'm just not in that place any more the pursuit of my own happiness trying to heal my wounds to extricate my nature pulling it out of the despair out of the hopeless fog the people that I love in hell I could not stand still I had to do something damn god and the rules I had to cross over to the other side to reach out to the hopeless I couldn't let

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