Monday, January 23, 2012

page 95

wants to see blue again he realizes that he has thrown away his life hugo remains a cipher a ghost it is not possible for such a man as hugo to exist hugo is looking into a mirror instead of watching another he is watching himself he sees his life played out in the life of another who is the other is this other the shadow that herman talked about the wolf to the human spirit in watching hugo finds that life is impossible he cannot escape for the life he has created with he once considered to be knowledge and wisdom moving toward the point of obsession he is obsessed with the need to know he is enslaved by the knowing he is trapped by the knowledge he has gained by his knowledge of the other world it has touched him and he is forever changed he has been touched by the madness of the other world through the example of hugo we learn that our own positions in this world are volatile at any moment we could go up in fire we could be just a black smudge on the floor something for the maid to clean up what was that I saw on zelda’s face was it shame was it vanity was she trying to hide an imperfection or a flaw it her actions that completes her fall what we try to hide is what we reveal Zelda is trying out for the dallas cowboy cheerleaders she has always been a showoff she is practicing her kicks for us I keep waiting for her cowboy boot to fly off and hit that blank spot on the wall Zelda was getting hot and sweaty Up In Ya stands up from his chair puts on his hat and walks through the door he booked passage on some ship and sailed to China there is a metafictional uncertainty to this situation what is the distinction between fiction and reality when will Up In Ya step into your life he could jump right out of the page he could be standing right behind you he could be hiding in your closet truth and fiction truly bleed into one another how many of your stories are untrue and how many are true I bet as the years go by the truth and the untruth get mixed together to make a better story lost on the other side of the world can you find your way back do you find yourself collapsing in on yourself becoming smaller and smaller a tiny dot on the landscape fading away into meaninglessness becoming one with the nothing are you becoming an unsolvable case can hugo find you your world has unraveled the edges have become frayed the mystery itself spiders into subplots that I can’t explain everyone has their own agenda everyone is searching for love life fragments into uncertainty the Turk has no guilt concerning his own infidelities he has discovered that his wife is seeing someone else but he is not sure who it is he suspects it could be hugo or possibly harpo the turk is saving up his money to hire a detective to find out but first he has to deal with the problem concerning his daughter his daughter is the barmaid the one who was miraculously healed by tim the savior of the world she has been possessed by Truck the demon and this demon has been wrecking havoc in her life truck the demon is both inside and outside of her life he wanders both the wastelands and returns to inhabit the barmaid he exists in a perpetual paradox of being and not being of existing in two worlds at the same time of being flesh and spirit truck the demon is a roaming loner who once had a body and had enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh because of the great evil in his heart he was transformed into a demon and cursed to wander the earth desiring to be made flesh again therefore he inhabits

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