Monday, January 23, 2012

page 94

the little school girl says that the world is a mystery that cannot be solved the little school girl threatens hugo with the wine bottle and says that she is tempted to obliterate the traces of the old world which underlies the new she is not concerned with having a neat ending or having all the questions answered life never has neat endings and there are always more questions than can be answered the clues to life do not lead to solutions there is only strangeness and disturbance where is my wisdom I believed stubbornly in my own powers pursing the image of order where none existed there is no order I this life the order makers are liars and thieves the final showdown does not restore order if it was possible for any one of us to solve the mystery than the whole world would be destroyed in microcosm and macrocosm knowing the murderer’s identity solves nothing if the world falls out from under us what if we indentify the murderer as god then what can our version of reality exist if god is the murderer he would no longer be one of us then the question of life is the question that must be solved I have absented myself from my own life I no longer exist I have disappeared and stepping into the other world the world that contains Murakami’s dead girlfriends and the man who wears the sheep mask I have stepped off the cliff and joined Sumire into the nothingness what is the nature of this world and what is place or lack of place in this world there is this idea that one can escape one’s life in the real world if only temporary leaving the real world for an unreal world and then it is possible to travel back to the real world without any adverse consequences is this what drugs does do they allow us to leave this world for another and when we come down we are able to return to this world as if we never left I think murakami is writing wakefield over and over again to sever self from the real world he recognizes that there is another world that coexists with ours an alternative reality and he proposes that certain special individuals can travel from one side to the other however this ability is haphazard the traveling is controlled by laws that we do not fully understand hugo approaches the brink of madness a threshold across which he might disappear irretrievably Sumire crossed over to never come back the protagonist is always threatened with this possibility the threat of never escaping the maze evoking the fear of losing one’s place Sumire lost her place hugo is preoccupied with the fear that he might unintentionally cross a threshold of no return he is afraid of becoming an outcast of the universe hugo has always been an outsider but he has always served the social order the structure of society hugo is a link between the two worlds I asked hugo if he would go over to the other side to bring betty boop back he said that he would think about it hugo ceases to exist when he is not doing something he exists only through his actions my hope is that in searching for betty boop hugo will become lost himself that he will cross over the threshold of no return sticking to outward facts words are transparent for hugo he sees right through them he can see through the lies of tim and AC he knows where their hearts are at great windows that stand between him and the world hugo does not question his place in the world for him things line up when hugo travels to the other world anxiety takes hold of him he becomes afraid that he cannot return to his life and to tonya she never

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