Friday, January 20, 2012

page 89

in your audience what will happen when they all grow up have thought about this giving style to voice what does that mean and that nothing is gratuitous does that mean you don’t tip reality is a product of human desire Tommy looks like a nerdy boyfriend someone that you can take home to meet your parents and your parents won’t be scared he has manners and wears glasses and say a lot of polite rubbish the truth doesn’t speak it acts and Tommy can act like an innocent child and he can be a viper a snake snapping at your heels he is saving his raisins for Sunday his dirty little assumptions infect reality he figures that he is disarming their defenses he is preparing them for the kill when you deep into his soul you find that there is no purity there he is the jackal waiting to snatch away your kill he wants you to do all the work so that he can take all of the credit devising ways to capture the social meaning they are fireflies that he keeps in a glass jar we must recognize how people define their lives we must understand their definitions it is the lives of people that are interesting the things that they do and how they do we must enter the language game of those we want to know how do they use language and what meanings do they attach to their words for example do you know what a grit is for some people a grit is a type of food for others a grit is a type of person others may have others meaning associated with the word grit communication is possible between two people who have nothing in common except for their shared humanness perception and interpretation cannot be separated this is a vehicle we get inside it and turn on the motor and the motor turns the wheels and the turning wheels take us somewhere sometimes the turning wheels takes us where we want to go and sometimes they do not that is life a gamble throw the dice little school girl and let us see where random chance takes us Maria was on life support for four days and I had to be the one to pull the plug she was already dead we had already lost her the idea that a situation may be viewed differently by different people begins to make sense Maria was lifeless it was a struggle for her to breathe on her own the machines were breathing for her keeping her alive how could I let go how is this possible Maria was my life my joy the substance of my life similar qualities may have different meanings she looked so pale as a ghost to look her brought  both fear and love an interpretation of reality is not universal values shape the nature of facts what was the nature of Maria I was beginning to forget I wanted to focus on the origin of her meaning in my life when we first met I can’t remember when we first met is seemed like I have always known her she has always been a presence in my life how can I deconstruct her break her down into her component parts this is my attempt to understand to come to terms with my feelings to understand our connections what it was that we shared words cannot be divorced from how they are read Maria’s meaning is in her words the words that I use to describe her and how you and I interpret those words does that make sense to you I am implanting uncertainty in every page you are uncertain of what you read here and you are uncertain about your life the direction it is heading we live with uncertainty all the time how can we be sure of anything in this life an almost endless number of possibilities are produced the little

No comments:

Post a Comment