page 52

way he imagined then he doesn’t want to live anymore Mr. Perry has one big plan to follow he will be a martyr for the cause he will his part to create a new religion to make kinbote into a mighty god everyone will see that tim is glorious that everyone should love him as Mr. Perry does it does no good to wish you were dead it takes a spine it takes backbone to turn your dreams into reality he will destroy the chemist the evil one the bringer of destruction he will put away the destroyer of worlds another fading version of materialism Mr. Perry is laughing in the face of fear soon he will be gone like all the other who came before him another dust devil spinning in the wind he is grappling with the implications of his plans he knows that he is propelled by his actions that is footsteps are premeditated by fate he dreams his ending over and over again the causes may be different the result is always the same he is surrendering his personal joy for a greater cause a greater purpose this brings joy into his sad and sick existence Mr. Perry is a worm that eats its way through the flesh he feeds upon the rotten things of this world Jane is driven by love and morphine she helps Mr. Perry with his plans for destruction together they map out the crime they are transmuted by bestiality they think that they can extract meaning from a confused and chaotic world they think they can cross the abyss without being touched by the angel of death beyond Choronzon we are no longer our self Mr. Perry is taking the first steps into non-being a task that each of us must face as the blood vessels burst revealing the true spirit that hides inside do away with this body of flesh and bring forth the body of light the world is meaningless and disconnected your conception of self with break apart into its individual selves that are not interrelated nor are they interconnected you have become a broken collection of individual pieces life and death are both magical it life that separates us from our higher being the flesh is not the highest existence we have been seeing things backwards turn your focus in the opposite direction place your gaze upon the stars we are spirits in a material world we are not material beings seeking the spiritual when we were born we left our union with the universe which is the real and the unreal this is the puzzle for you to unravel the dynamic force of creative energy sent forth into the abyss of space you are descendants of the starry emanations do you believe in tim do you understand that tim loves you that he is the savior of the world bow down and worship tim and he will give you good things it was Mr. Perry’s desire to end the god form known as AC he set out to destroy AC but he failed AC was too strong for Mr. Perry and Mr. Perry was faced with failure and embarrassment because of his great failure Mr. Perry put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger  Jane mourned his death for a long time after his death Mr. Perry became a body of desire he would visit jane in her sleep during the midnight hour he would try to touch her but his body could no longer feel he was drawn close by her sadness he no longer has a generative power his existence is with the shadows and he is now a spectator in the material world he can only watch and cannot influence jane and this keeps his body of desire within the plane of desire he is tormented by his failure to destroy AC his great desire is unfulfilled and he haunts jane in hopes of having her fulfill his unfinished business larry in