Tuesday, January 17, 2012

page 70

became the best capitalist of us all we all eventually bought our quarter pound bags from him and we seduced a million girls with the promise of heaven delivered through a pipe and a rolled joint we walked all night tripping on acid and howling at the moon we spent hours upon hours listening to ted nugent Nazareth and black Sabbath putting our trust in the next high the next piece of flesh that we sacrificed to the night we consumed everything being machines of consumption in our drug induced consumerism not knowing that our rebellion still fit the capitalist economic model we were more square than the squares we made fun of we were suckers just like all the rest sucking capitalisms cock we bought records and posters and incense and we bought drugs by the truck loads we supported capitalism with our whole hearts no wonder we never did anything to challenge it our revolution was still a capitalist revolution we weren’t going to change anything we couldn’t see beyond the world that was created for us we cast our ballots in truck stops taverns and bowling alleys we played billiards with the children of the corn and helped them butcher a pig for the prom queen we raced our cars up and down the city streets in search of a new religion we were racing to Golgotha praying for each other and for warm vaginas and voluptuous breasts as we practiced like zealots the art of undress we watched our older brothers cousins friends and enemies disappear into a world with a war in an exotic sounding place as we contemplated and debated by the beer kegs on the possibility of our joining our lost souls to this war and being threatened by our fathers to be taken by shotgun down to the local post office to register for the draft there was revolution in the air and we were too young to recognize it we were too busy making plans to work in factories and buy cars and live in an apartment on our own back then we thought death was a long ways away death only came close to us in rare occasions in the form of distant relatives who we really didn’t know that well this is the age that we started to question what people told us especially our parents our teachers and the news media we were reading high times and leaning about William Burroughs even though we were too young and stupid to understand the significance of what we were reading I was never a Buddhist I never sought a teacher I never took refuge but I did seek enlightenment in many different forms and expressions when I talk about you I am also talking about myself because our lives are bound up together in one great big ball we are a giant ball of twine connected to one another and many others sometimes I am speechless a poor example of a human being not being able to utter a sound I am speechless I am broken I am obtuse I do have an awareness of the essentials of life of the magic of words and actions how to be a cause in this world to move things for either good or evil but these are things that I learned over time my imagination was just beginning to blossom with the steady diet of blotter acid micro dot mescaline and mushrooms a world was opened up that I never knew existed thoughts entered my mind from the mind of the Jungian primordial past I became connected to all minds and remembered things from previous lives that I had forgotten I didn’t feel compelled it just seemed like something I wanted to do I had read Henry miller’s tropic of cancer tropic

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