Thursday, January 19, 2012

page 80

like the back doors until 4:00 in the morning to the rest of my shift going to fuel up working until 7:00 my entire profit no better and I didn't have any assholes zelda is here and she is showing us her naked body check her out it is a wonderful body she is really sweet three fairytale classics she just loves the shit her all time favorite popular in Finland she is telling me good morning she says that it is a two hand job thank you for everything it is an honor to be with you all you had to do was announce your distress a victim of fear because you lack belief the courage to accept the bullshit you have distilled all the world’s evil into this small bottle of brownish liquid let me drink of this evil let me get drunk with it I will drink It all down I will give it the full measure of myself anything less would be a crime tonya knows that I am a criminal I have confessed to her all my sins and she has forgiven me now I am free and clear ready to start all over again to add more strikes against my ledger to pile up the atrocities to make them legends I want to be like Tristan and the bear to travel across the heavens battling against the forces of the universe to build new worlds new creations to be ever ready to strike the first blow to attack for freedom and liberty and the way of the lost I am not looking for approval or derision I am doing this for myself this is a selfish action I am working a radical transformation changing iron into gold the alchemy of the soul burning you into a precious metal showing you how to release your inner demons no beliefs no worship no demands upon your life no rituals no churches no offering plates no words from a holy book no bending no bowing no words whispered in false reverence forget all your religious teachers forget your political leaders forget your name forget your place forget the rules to society throw away your business suit learn to be naked in body heart and mind remove the secrets from your life be free from your insignificants wants and desires it all means nothing solve all your problems over night I return to my studio at midnight I look at the tools hanging from the walls I examine the bottles of pain jumbled about the workbench there are pieces of canvas and strips of cloth metal wire washers empty beer bottle I light my candles and say a pray to the gods of creation and the gods of art I think about Captain Marc’s vortex I imagine it is swirling above his head ready to take him to another world taking him to see the air-conditioned crocodiles they have little hats and silk ties they say they are from the planet tralfamadore waking from a continual dream the air-conditioned crocodiles gave advice about our trip to Alaska in our pajamas and messy hair asking about the name of the website worked up and blabbering the perfect descriptive terms one hundred black santas they are not afraid of exposing their vulnerabilities not afraid to fall dead drunk across the table a cluster of whores who congregated next to the entrance of the bar they handing the customers hymnals as they entered I guess they were planning some sort of church service Captian Marc and I finished our drinks and left out the back door we had better cats to skin bertha never wasted time playing cards that was all Captain Marc and I would do was play cards we would sit at a table and start playing cards and dink several bottles of wine a bottle of white for me and a bottle of red for Captain Marc bertha would sit at another table and watch us I noticed

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